I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
