my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I had to cum in my sink.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
