How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
