Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
