Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
