I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
