I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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