He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
