Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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