There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
