Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
