I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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