North Korea, Best Korea!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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