Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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