this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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