Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
people are starting to question the shark bite story
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm at about main and main street
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
