Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
