I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
