I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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