Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
