You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
