I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sorry my hands just texted you
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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