wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
