Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
