Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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