Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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