Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Couch. On fire.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
