just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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