This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
