your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
