It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
