our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
