Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
