Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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