There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
