I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
