you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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