You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
