you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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