Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Randomize
