And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
