i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
