Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
