using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
