One girl and one boy is just not enough.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
