i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There's always time for handjobs
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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