Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
