with your own penis?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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