Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
