Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I could fuck to npr.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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