She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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