i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize