Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
