The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
