So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Alive.
So much puke
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
