chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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