why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
