I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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