I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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