im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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