im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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