Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
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The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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