After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
