from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
