The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
