This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
