Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize