I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize