Ambien. No doubt about it.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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