Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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