so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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