Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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